Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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