I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
zippers are such a cool invention
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize