I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
