stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
