i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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