her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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