so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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