i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When are your genitals available?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
