Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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