last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize