i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
