Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
