Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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