Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I want her autograph on my taint
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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