Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
