I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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