Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
