I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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