every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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