So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
