you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
