The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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