Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
