hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
