Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize