I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
