Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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