Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize