I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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