ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
