i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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