im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
