i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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