so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
