I have demons in me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
