i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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