I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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