around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize