69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
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Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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