I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to fling myself into the sun
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
