nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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