It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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