He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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