the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you didnt know i had herpes?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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