Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
