Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
