the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
