Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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