writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
