Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
