Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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