I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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