the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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