I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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