From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize