I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize