I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
