I need help removing her.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
